African Babes

It is now quite some time ago that I received a package from South Africa from a friend. In it were two beautiful little outfits for the kiddies, with fun colours and animals on them. I promised her I would make pictures but it took me too too long to do so. When I finally did get to making them, I didn't upload them for a while, then went and lost my camera for a months, etc. etc. blah blah. So these are pictures made on September 26 (!): Esmée on both of them because at the time Lisa was sleeping and I didn't want to wake her up.

Thank you A, you are absolutely wonderful! And so are the clothes. The kiddies are still wearing them although the pants are now a bit too short. Lisa is not growing as fast as her sis so she enjoys them a bit longer. Doesn't Es look marvellous as an African Babe? :-)

Thank you Abs for this wonderful video

I will certainly use the "Great job, here's your cookie" line the next opportunity I get.

Just a little rant, please forgive me

Twins get you reactions from people. It happens. Apparently it is unusual enough to make people stop and stare, and come over and comment. Apart from endeared smiles, what I got a lot – and I mean A LOT! – is people telling me that it must be hard, twins.
…
This in me triggers a variety of responses. Let’s sum some up, in a random order.

1 – *Gee thanks! And how will this make me feel any better, please?* This is my reality and whinging and whining about it will not change it in any way. Besides: I do not wish to change anything about this situation. I like this situation. I wished and worked pretty hard for this, I am enjoying every single moment of it.

2 – *So?* It seems that this reaction is designed to serve no other purpose than to press upon me my serious misfortune of bearing twins instead of just one baby like sensible people do. I must be mad but I actually like having twins. I think it is really nice. If it means hard work then so be it.

3 – (This is a nasty one:) *If you think this is hard, then your single kid must be an absolute nightmare.* You see, twins is only hard if you think it will be hard. For me, I don’t know any better so for me, having twins is the same as ‘just’ having kids. From what I hear from pretty much all new parents, it is never ever ever like you’ll get a lot of sleep anyway. My kiddies are really sweet and I love them to bits. Sure they cry sometimes and sure I want to paste them behind the wallpaper sometimes but oh sweet lords and ladies: I will be the absolute last to complain. As should you be, shocked parent of only one, since you knew what you were getting yourself into. Or you should have known anyway before you decided to have kids.

4 - *Do I look like a wreck to you?* Seriously, do I? Because you are pretty much telling me that my body must be worn out now and my mind gone blunt. Guess what? My body is absolutely fine, I do whatever I like with it and I think it looks good too. At least I like to think of my mind as as sharp as ever. What do you think?

5 - *Did you even look at their little faces?* Do they remind you of hard work and suffering, or do they look like the faces of beautiful little miracles to you? Because they do to me, especially – but not only – when they smile. How can you look at my precious kiddies and think only of the hard work they cause?

And yet I smile and tell people that it’s okay. I treasure those instances when someone comes up to me and tells me “Congratulations, such beautiful babies, you are truly blessed”. “Thank you,” I tell them, “I think so too.”

Pink for grown-ups

I’m not a very girly girl. I’m no butch either but much of the girly stuff passes me by unappreciated. I can’t walk on heels all that well. I feel more comfortable in trousers than wearing a skirt. I choose green over pink any day. I don’t do frills. Etc.

That said.

Sneakers should be nice, not clunky. Trousers should fit, if possible showing that I have a nice behind and that my legs are not stumps. This summer I bought my first pink shirt in years and it looks okay. It has ribbons. (Funnily enough my mother, who for years has hoped both openly and secretly that I would show a little more girliness, didn’t like the colour on me much. It’s a strange old world.) The frills are still a no-go – except for a small thing for Japanese Hello Kitty phone straps, as long as they’re not pink.

Still, not overly girly.

Today I found myself in the Bijenkorf (Holland’s only real department store) and it was like a little trapdoor opened itself in me. It had been closed for quite some time, what with me being whale-sized for a large part of this year. I tried on shoes with heels as high as anything. I went to the lingerie department and looked at frilly (!) things. I looked at pretty jewelry, shiny stuff with beads. The only thing I skipped was the make-up department. I am pretty enough already. (Hah!)

Felt nice.
Me so womany.

Standing at the lingerie department, checking out some frilly cute bras, suddenly a man sidles up to where I’m standing. Juuust within my personal space he starts to check out the same bras. Not a likely-looking female partner in sight and something about him makes me move away. Is this how some men find girls: by approaching women who are looking at pretty underwear in the appropriate size? Ew.

Alone

A very very short entry, not even worthy of the space it takes up. But it needs to be said.

Even though I have not been very 'hormonal' throughout my pregnancy or after and I'm pretty relaxed when it comes to people holding or taking care of my kiddies, I am now really sad that my kiddies are staying at their grandparents' house and I'm all alone. I haven't been away from them for more than three hours since they were born and now I won't see them for a whole night and most of tomorrow and that. just. sucks.

That's it. I'm sure I'll feel better. Tomorrow. When I'm holding them again.

NaNo

It's weird but true: I'm already looking forward to November. November is NaNoWriMo: National Novel Writing Month. The 'Na' (National) is a bit silly because it is now all over the globe but the idea stays the same. Participants aim to write a 50,000 words novel within the 30 days of November. Everyone who makes it to 50,000 - regardless of quality or even coherence - is declared a 'Winner'. And yep! I was a winner last year. So proud.

The idea behind NaNo for me is to get into the habit of daily writing. In order to produce the daily wordcount one really needs to focus, accept any idea that comes into one's head, and most of all one needs to silence that creepy inner critic that usually smacks dead anything in the area of fiction writing one ever does.

Not that it needs to be fiction, by the way! People on NaNo write whatever they like, sometimes not even novels but essays or whatever else strikes their fancy. This is all hearsay from the participants themselves because you don't share the actual text of the 'novel' (or whatever else) online. All you do is enter the text you have every day and the wordcount shows up. Neat stats do the rest.

The NaNo provides participants with a drive, a goal, and a way to hold themselves accountable. At least that's how I use it. Besides: it's fun! It is incredible fun to laugh at that aforementioned critic and write down the most hideous excruciating toe-curling piece of word-crap imaginable and just don't care as long as you get the number of words required for the day. Let the story tell itself, introduce a new character here and there and when the going gets tough let something silly happen, or allow the characters to say the cheesiest things, or describe the meal they are having even if it has no relation at all to the story... It doesn't matter! All we need is 1,666 words a day. Huzzah!

Can't wait.

Tough?

Twins get a lot of attention. Not individually and not necessarily from their parents but as a set and as a phenomenon they make heads turn wherever they go. People on the street will peer into the carriage and sometimes even start talking to me. I don’t mind being talked to by strangers; often it is quite pleasant, especially when it is other twins parents or when people are being nice.

But oh! some of the things people say.

Particularly strange are people who tell me that having and raising twins is hard. This started during my pregnancy. When I would tell people that I was expecting twins, very often they would tell me that I was going to have a hard time. How they knew this I have no idea because most of them were parents of singletons. Probably they had a hard time with those as well, I guess. Or they know people who know people with twins and they heard it was very hard. I really don't know.

After they came into the world, the whole twins situation became of course a lot more obvious. This just means that people often just leave out the ‘congratulations’ – something that was still done during pregnancy – and immediately launch into telling me that I must be having a hard time.

I must? Well I suppose so. Only because you’re telling me though.

For me, I really feel I am the absolute last to complain about this situation. My first association with twins, even now that I have taken care of them for full two months, is that they are an absolute joy. Sure things can be difficult and frustrating but by the sound of it this is true for pretty much all new parents, no matter how many kids in one go. And yes I often think how having ‘just’ one kid must be a breeze compared to this. Still, my first thought upon seeing them or seeing other twins: how amazingly wonderful! Lucky me.

Isn’t it strange how these things make it clear that people often do not stop to wonder what exactly they are saying or asking? Even if I were to have a hard time with the kiddies, does it really help me or contribute to my life if you tell me how tough it was for your daughter/neighbour/sister/yourself when they/you had twins? Don’t you think that if having twins were such a hellish endeavour, I would already know by now? Maybe I could use some support instead of nightmare stories? (Ergo: are you telling me this to be friendly or are you just using this as an opportunity to display your own – supposed – understanding?)

Another example would be the question some people asked during and even now after the pregnancy. I mean: “Was it a natural conception?” I know that since I am ‘already’ 35 years old and they are twins, people will wonder about this. And I really, honestly don’t mind this question from friends and people of whom I know care about me. (So don’t worry if you ever did!) Yet on the other hand, doesn’t it make you think that it may be a rather intimate question to ask someone? I mean, it’s not like I ask you how your kids were made.

“On a picknick table? Really?”